I don't have many hobbies in my life and really don't have much time for hobbies anyways. The closest thing I have to a hobby in my life is to go shoot my guns at the local range. I have been wanting to go shooting for a while now and the other day seemed like the perfect time to go. I had mentioned it to my wife and she agreed that it was the best time for me to go.
It takes a few hours out of the day to pack up, go to the range and then clean everything up once I get home. I like to clearly communicate with my wife with things like this so that nobody gets hurt by unmet expectations. We talk it out and then give each other approval.
The afternoon was approaching so I started to gather up my gear. When I headed out to say goodbye my wife was on the couch looking pretty exhausted. I was holding my bags over my shoulders eager to go shoot. My flesh wanted to badly to give my wife a kiss and walk out the door.
I have been praying lately that God would help me walk in the spirit and not my flesh. (But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16)
In this moment I felt conflicted. As much as I wanted to pursue something that would be so fun for me, all I could see was my wife's need for rest.
Instead of saying goodbye, I asked her if she wanted to get away and have some time to herself. She was shocked. She literally didn't see that coming. She also felt bad about my request and urged me to continue with my plans. But I couldn't. I knew what she needed. I put my bags away and encouraged her to go do something for herself for a few hours, comforting her that I would take care of the kids and start on dinner.
She jumped up with excitement and left within minutes.
And she came back a few hours later energized.
I am sharing this with you not because I want to toot my own horn, (although I did win some major husband points), I want to encourage you in your marriage. Sometimes we desire to do things, we even talk about it, get approval and get all the details arranged, only to be caught in the middle of another need. As husbands, we need to be flexible with our wives and families. We need to be able to lay our desires down in order to fulfill a need she has. We need to be bold enough to make selfless choices to bless her.
When we make selfless choices, we are leading by example. Our wives will see how we decide to walk in the spirit and it will encourage them to do the same.