We fight sometimes. Not often, but it does happen. In fact, we just had one on Sunday right before church, which I’m sure you’ve never done before. We used to fight every day and sometimes hourly. We were very good at it. She would slam a door, I would yell. She would make me feel small by belittling me. I would remind her of all the things she has ever done wrong. Silent treatments, back talking, defamation, whatever would give us the upper hand on the other, we did it.
Over the last few years, we have learned that not only is fighting not healthy but more importantly it is not what Christians should call normal in their marriage.
- Yes, we are different people.
- Yes, we have disagreements.
- Yes, we make mistakes.
But none of these truths give us a right or justify us to lose self-control over our emotions or to walk in pride, or to treat the other person as if they are an enemy. NONE!
THIS IS NOT US ANYMORE!
And if fighting is a normal thing in your marriage then you must listen to this advice and repent today. As a Holy Spirit indwelt believer, you and your bride have everything you need to walk in peace and unity with each other.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, – 2 Petet 1:3
Disagreements will come and hard days are unavoidable. But none of these things give us an excuse or license to “FIGHT” with our brides. Fighting and serious discussion are two very different things. The Bible tells us that we are one.
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. – Mark 10:8
And if we are one then fighting means that we are divided, and if we are divided then we are a kingdom that cannot stand and the enemy has found a foothold for destruction in our marriages.
If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. – Mark 3:24
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. – James 4:1-3
If we do fight then that is cause for repentance to one another.
Men, let us be different from the world as the Word tells us to be. Let us stand for unity in our homes. Let us fight for our oneness instead of against it. Let us remember that our brides are a part of us and that we must protect that unity at all cost.
And lastly, let us remember that fighting is not something that should be normal in a Christian marriage.